All But One
by venusguytrap
Summary: When Sesshomaru stops to rest for the night he thinks back on his past, how he learned to hate, and how he hates all humans, including Rin. Or... does he? Rating just to be safe.


**Disclaimer: **Last time I checked I was writing fanfiction. And unless (by some miracle I have not been informed about) where I have just gained ownership, I am just thankful to have the right to do fanfiction. In short my disclaimer is- : (

**Bold: Flashback**

_Italics: Actions and thoughts_

"Normal in quotations": speaking

If some are used together, refer here to make the combination.

Note: I do not know what or who Sesshomaru's mother is (if anyone does PLEASE tell me) and it's the same with Rin's family. But I knew she was already an orphan and had witnessed her family's death. I didn't put anything about her siblings because all I knew about them was that she watched them die too. I watched episode 35 on to confirm that.

Please do review and give me your thoughts on it. Preferably it's good. This is my first Sesshomaru fic and this is my first InuYasha non-fluffy one-shot so please have mercy and if you don't have anything nice to say (cough-flamers-cough) I think the world would appreciate it if you said nothing at all. I do take CONSTRUCTIVE CRITISISM!

Thank you for your time and attention.

**All But One**

_I hate them. They have no idea of what I'm capable of. They wouldn't care until I severed their heads. No one supports me… No one knows me and what I've been through… No one, except for that stupid girl who saved my life._

"Master Sesshomaru, when can we stop?"

"Quiet, Rin! Can't you see m'lord is thinking about something!"

"What are you thinking about, Master Sesshomaru?"

_I look down at her… _

_She seems so innocent… and weak… She is human. I hate all humans. I hate her._

"Nothing, Rin."

_She is staring up at me with those innocent eyes. I hate those eyes. They're too innocent and I have none. And she's human. I hate all humans. I hate her._

"Are you sure? Something seems to be troubling you."

_It's as if she can read my mind. Sometimes I still have to remind myself that she is not a mind reader. She's not magical at all. She's human. I hate all humans. I hate her._

_She's staring at me. She's wondering whether my 'Nothing, Rin' is good enough. It's not and I know it. It's a complete lie. But she won't get anything else out of me. I won't let her because she's a human. She's a human. I hate all humans. I hate her._

_A few hours have passed. She's stayed quiet for now. I can't help but wonder what she's thinking. But I see that she's getting tired. Tch, pathetic. All humans are weak like that. But still… I suppose Jaken is getting tired too. He's trying not to show it. I think he is almost as weak and pathetic as the girl. If not more, however._

"Master Sesshomaru? May we stop and get some rest?"

_She's pleading and begging now. I nod my head. I don't intend to sleep. I don't really feel the need. Sleeping is for the weak, for humans. She's a human. I hate humans. I hate her._

_She's asleep now in the field I'm standing in as I watch the moon. Somehow… I've felt a bonding to the moon, as stupid as it sounds. It seems as if we both like the night better and that we are both deprived of the things we used to love and treasure. A memory comes to my mind…_

"**No! Father, let me go! I must save Mother! She's going to die if I don't save her!"**

_**Fire is everywhere as the fading image of my mother is erased. I can't see very well though. Ashes are in my eyes and they are stinging with pain as is my whole body. I'm bleeding in a few places from those knife wounds. I can't control my powers. I cannot defend myself so my mother and my father had to. My father was dragging me out of the village place that, even as a demon, my mother was still able to have friends at. Even if they were human. But now, instead of laughter, I only hear the pain of others crying out.**_

_**Father roughly drops me on the ground, on the hill many feet away from the village. I don't think he meant to be rough with me. He always is and that's what I should expect from him, nothing more.**_

_**I cough, trying to get the smoke from my lungs.**_

"**Father! Where's Mother? I can't find mother; where is she!" He's not answering me so I have to ask him many times as he watches the village burn. His head is lowered, covered in shadow so that I cannot see it.**

_**He's ignoring me…? Why…? Why would my father ignore me…?**_

"**Sesshomaru, my son, I'm afraid… you will not see her again. I'm sorry. She was killed by many and died honorably to protect you."**

_**What! What does he mean! Mother… no, she's okay. He's lying! He lies!**_

"**NO!"**

_**I'm screaming things I don't understand. I'm on the ground now but I don't remember falling. Hot tears are steaming down like small rivers down my cheeks. He's not facing me… damn him… But I'm not sure if I want him to or not. But I'm angry. I get up, trying to run back but my father picks me up again, restraining me as I kick and scream, crying. The ashes are out and I can see again.**_

"**Hush now, Sesshomaru… Strong ones do not cry…"**

_**Is he trying to soothe me! Since when has he done that! I feel like laughing after he said that as much as the situation protested. He's never loved me and I know it. He only loved Mother.**_

_**I don't know how I feel now. I feel… confused… alone… unwanted… and… unloved… That's what I think I hated most. Unloved… Mother always loved me. Father never liked me. He never took the time to get to know his own son. I hate him… I hate him. I hate my father!**_

_**I eventually ceased my attempts after a few minutes, falling limp in my Father's arms. And suddenly, I feel unattached to any emotion anymore. I just… don't care. Except one emotion. Hate. I feel it run through my veins. I hate everything and everyone. They killed my mother. And now, I wanted to kill them. I was shaking with rage and sorrow as I remembered those warriors who raided the village and burned it into the ground. Humans… They were humans. I hate my father and I hate humans! They ruin everything! I'll never forgive them! Never!**_

_But then something amazing happened many years later after I had grown into my adult body. My father fell in love again with one and betrayed my mother. And she gave birth to his son. I hate the fact that InuYasha is of my blood when he doesn't deserve to be! He is human, even when you're half it still counts! He is of human blood and his kind destroyed my mother! The only one who understood me. You bastard… I can't wait for the day that you will die at my hands._

_I think some more and then a thought comes to me. I find it kind of ironic that his mother died at the same hands mine did. Flames and humans. But he got his own revenge, Father's death was his fault. But I never got mine. I never got to feel the blood of those who destroyed my only kindness in the world. I'm not satisfied and I feel empty. I've massacred too many human villages to try and get back what I had lost. Nothing has worked._

_Another thought strikes my mind and makes me want to be sick. After all of what those damn mortals put him through… he's the same as Father. He's fallen in love with one. I despise him. He's too much like father. Maybe through his death I'll feel satisfied. Or maybe more empty. He seems to have been through some of the same things._

_I shake my head to rid myself of these indecent thoughts. He's poisoned my mind now. I hate humans._

"_But then why did you save her? Why didn't you just leave her on that path?" My inner sanity asked._

'_I owed her.' I reasod. 'She saved my life. I saved hers.'_

"_Ah, but if she is human, then doesn't she owe your mother?"_

_I can't come up with an answer to that but luckily I don't have to._

"Master Sesshomaru?"

_Her voice startles me from my thoughts. I look down from my staring at the moon to her. Her face is shining with tears and she's almost pure white in the light of the moon._

"I had a really bad dream and I'm scared."

_Tch, I knew it. Humans can't even stand what's not real. How pathetic. She could never understand how I feel and her fears and sorrow comes nothing compared to mine._

"What was it about?"

_I find myself surprised when the words spill from my mouth. Why am I asking her?_

"It was about my mommy."

_Silence fills the air. I don't know how to respond to her._

"I remembered her. And how she died. I'm scared."

_She's practically whispering to me now._

"I wish they hadn't killed my mommy."

"But… the wolves did not kill her."

_I thought she was already an orphan when I'd found her… Was I wrong…? Have I been dragging her around this whole time not needing to when I could've revived her family with the Tenseiga?_

"No, they didn't. It was a different kind. It was white and… dominating. It killed everything in sight. I was crying but it didn't stop. It killed my mommy and I cried in her blood."

_She's quiet and so am I. White and dominating… no, it couldn't be… no…_

"What village were you in when I found you then?"

"After it had left, I ran to the river, I wanted to get the blood off but I fell into the fast part and sped away. I woke up on the place where you found me. I lived there for a long time until you rescued me."

_I feel cold and sick. What had I done? No, it couldn't have been me. I don't remember a girl looking like her there._

"But how many villages do you remember slaughtering before losing control over what you did."

_Again I can't answer as the black-haired girl sobbed. I felt numb with shock, but I didn't show it. She ran to me as I found myself knelt on the ground. I didn't know how I go there. She embraces my neck, crying her heart's worry and sadness. And I let her._

"Rin, I'm sorry."

_I know it will never make up for the sorrow she feels. But she deserves to have something I didn't when I was in this state. Love. I didn't know how to give it to her. I was cold, unemotional, except for my hate. She's human. I hate all humans. All but one._

**End**

R&R!


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